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So Much Love

Violet is so loving with other children. There is just something very special about her caring nature. On many occasions she has told us how much she would love to have a brother or a sister. When we found out that we were pregnant at the beginning of April, we were so overjoyed and thrilled to let Violet know that she was finally going to be a big sister!

Violet's face lit up and she jumped up and down with excitement after Josh and I shared the wonderful news with her. For the days to come Violet would sing about the joy of being a big sister and she would hug and kiss my belly. Violet would tell us, "I love our baby sooooo much. I am going to let them play with all of my toys!"

After the first month, Violet told us that our baby was a boy and that she was going to have a little brother. It was so precious! She was so happy and our hearts melted as we imagined them playing together in the future. Every week Violet would ask to watch the video online of what our baby looked like as they were developing. She said it was so amazing and I loved explaining it all to her.

Josh and I enjoyed talking about how Violet would be such a helpful and sweet big sister. Our baby's expected due date ended up being close to Violet's birthday in December! We began to daydream of big double birthday parties for the two of them and two sweet little ones opening Christmas presents together. Our baby's name was chosen and written down. A perfect name. Our pregnancy announcement photo was all planned out and ready to be shared.

Then, tragedy hit our family. We lost our precious baby. Our very loved baby. It has been traumatic and horrible. It has been so hard for us to understand, to process and our hearts are broken.

Telling Violet was extremely difficult. Her sweet face so full of hope. She didn't believe it at first, but after a few talks she understands that Mommy won't be having our baby anymore and our baby has gone to Heaven.

We are all hurting emotionally and I am still hurting physically. We spent our Saturday in the ER as I have had some complications.

And as we are used to, we are trying to be strong for Violet. Loss is hard.

Though our baby was not fully formed, they were fully loved. Fully and completely. We are choosing to not keep this private as the loss of a child should not be mourned alone. It is a devastating loss. And, Violet openly talks about our baby in Heaven now so if you see her, she may tell you. We would never want her to feel like she can't or shouldn't talk about it.

Our sweet little Angel in Heaven, we know you are in the arms of Jesus. The most loving arms you could ever be in. We are trying to take comfort in that even though we would love to have you in ours. And, we know that we will get to be with you again someday. You are so loved. So very loved.

Please keep our family in your prayers for peace and healing.

Therefore you now have sorrow; but I will see you again and your heart will rejoice, and your joy no one will take from you.
- John 16:22

Comments

  1. I just clicked on your blog when I saw you had posted again. I am so sorry to hear this. Yes, your precious baby is yours and forever safe and worthy of being grieved. My deepest sympathies.
    Kathy

    ReplyDelete

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